Horror

The start of case 39 sees you introduced to Emily Jenkins, a child support worker being given her 39th case.  At first, It seems as normal as any other she deals with on a day to day basis but it soon becomes apparent that this one will change her life in more ways than one.

She visits the family to see the little girl,  Lilith, who has been falling asleep in class and has had grades drop for A’s to D’s in 3 months.  There is enough evidence to suggest that Lilith is being neglected, but as there are no visible marks, Emily’s boss tells her to leave the case alone.

Against her boss’s wishes, Emily decides to visit Lilith as she is leaving school and tells her to call any time she feels scared.  Later that night Emily receives a chilling call from Lilith saying that she fears her parents are going to kill her.  Emily along with Policeman and friend Mike (Ian Mcshane - the one and only Lovejoy) rush over to the house and rescue Lilith just as she is about to be killed in a horrible manner by her parents.

Lilith is about to be put in care when she begs Emily to look after her.  At first Emily is reluctant but soon agrees and is given temporary custody of Lilith, but could that decision be the worst error of judgement that Emily could have made? (more…)

I am quite a big fan of gore and body horror so when I saw that hit U.S. series Dexter was available to rent on DVD from LoveFilm I knew I had to watch it!

Dexter is a serial killer with ethics; not your typical leading man! Working as a blood spatter analyst for Miami Metro he encounters the dregs of society and their actions on a daily basis.

Orphaned because his mother was murdered, then adopted by a cop hell-bent on justice, Dexter’s formative years were the catalyst for his now dominant penchant for the macabre.

Dexter seeks to make his little corner of the world a better place by eradicating heinous criminals who have slipped through the net.

Dispensing his own special brand of justice, Dexter plots, plans and meticulously executes his murderous endeavours, whilst ensuring that each victim realises why they are about to meet their maker.

On paper this sounds like quite an intense show, but it’s shot so well, with many varied story arcs and alternative points of interest, that it’s so much more than just another gore fest! (more…)

Is there a bigger date in the horror movie fan’s calendar than the annual release of a Saw film?

Yes. Laundry day, or any other day.

Yet the cogs keep turning and the people keep watching, despite cries of despair and claims of wasted lifetime hours following each increasingly pointless instalment.

If we approach the situation in a frank, honest manner, the first Saw, whilst borrowing heavily from the concept of the mighty movie masterpiece Se7en, was in fact quite watchable and boasted an awesome twist right at the death (oops, sorry about that). Saw was a good horror movie, and of course a sequel was inevitable.

It is fair to say that Saw II was also pretty good. It lacked cohesion, but was gruesome enough to satisfy fans of the genre and still offered a few decent surprises, not to mention a meatier role for series lead Tobin Bell, as the dying Jigsaw killer John Kramer.

And then disaster.

Saw III, Saw IV and Saw V were increasingly mediocre, whilst Saw VI was actually a little better, but had a rubbish ending and dragged the story into even further reaches of plot direction stupidity. For Jigsaw to maintain a presence and influence on the storyline after his rather fatal throat-slashing in Saw III is actually a little insulting.

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Move over Jaws, there’s a new fish in town as director Alexandre Aja serves up this rather bitey remake of the silly seventies original.  In all fairness, remake is an understatement as this film’s storyline and characters bear very little resemblance to the ‘78 Piranha, or its sequel Piranha II: The Spawning (which happened to be the dubious directorial debut of one James Cameron).

The 21st Century version of Piranha, released as Piranha 3D in cinemas, is set during the all-American alchohol-fuelled bikini-bonanza known as Spring Break.  Young Jake, son of strict Sheriff Julie Forester, is unfortunately doomed to babysit instead of enjoying the madness, but porno director Derrick needs a guide on his boat so he knows all the best places to film his gorgeous actresses Danni and Crystal.  With this offer on the table,  Jake decides to leave the kids to their own devices whilst he goes and, er, enjoys himself.  He also manages to get a girl he likes to come along for the ride, but things take a nasty turn when little things with big teeth show up to spoil the party…

Some prehistoric, savage, bloodthirsty and generally quite irritable piranhas have been freed from their cave-like prison underwater, thanks to some kind of mini-earthquake or something.  This results in a very grisly death for Richard Dreyfuss (sending up his own Matt Hooper from Jaws, complete with ‘Show Me The Way To Go Home’ karaoke session), and this starts off an insane massacre that rarely lets up at any stage.  Much death occurs, along with gratuitous nudity and Ving Rhames using a chainsaw to make a sizeable ton of sushi.  It is bonkers.

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In 1997, director Vincenzo Natali wrote and directed a sci-fi horror movie called Cube which revolved around a group of strangers stuck in a construct of sadistically booby-trapped rooms, with no clue how to survive other than some seemingly random numbers engraved on each door. The fates of the characters were generally quite grisly, but the film itself posed some interesting questions about morals and the will to survive.

Natali planned to follow up that effort with a film exploring the concept and potential ramifications of genetic modification. His idea required a budget that simply was not available, but 13 years later he has finally been able to deliver Splice, a creepy, unnerving and ultimately thought-provoking slice of sci-fi horror pie.

Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley play Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast, two genetic engineers who have been conducting research and experiments investigating the outcome of DNA splicing. They plan to start introducing human DNA into the mix, but the pharmaceutical company with all the cash is not too keen.

The persistent duo decide to oppose their financiers and proceed with their plans in secret, convinced that successful splicing of human DNA with that of other animals could provide cures to several devastating diseases.

Their secretive work spawns a creature that they name Dren (the reversed letters of the pharmaceutical company’s acronym N.E.R.D). The creature displays impressive cognitive development and rapidly grows into something akin to an inquisitive feminine teenager, albeit one with a tail and stinger.

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Back in 1987, Arnie and his platoon of tough hombres took on a freakishly ugly and manically violent alien creature with a penchant for hunting humans as sport. Needless to say, it did not go well for the humans, but Arnie came out on top using a clever combination of mud and one-liners. It also helped that he was built like a brick outhouse and was able to distract the beast with his confusing accent and peculiar dialogue delivery.

Predator is a classic, and one of many highlights on Arnie’s very respectable 80s action résumé. So it was a moderate shame when the somewhat lacklustre Predator 2 appeared and changed the setting to the concrete jungle of Los Angeles. It could have worked, and Danny Glover is pretty good, but it lacked the original’s sense of fun, and sported a far less entertaining cast, not to mention the fact that Predator was directed by Die Hard‘s John McTiernan, whereas Predator 2 was helmed by the director of Nightmare on Elm Street 5 and Lost in Space, Stephen Hopkins. Oops.

The intriguing and excessively violent character of the Predator lay dormant until Paul W.S. Anderson (Event Horizon, Resident Evil) made the move to combine Alien and Predator on the big screen; such a move had been equally revered and requested by the fans. Alien vs. Predator was acceptable yarn, despite slightly compromising the integrity of the canon of both sets of movies. However, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem was utter dross, shot in total darkness using a script that offered the dialogue equivalent of horse faeces.

This could have killed both Alien and Predator, but Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Sin City) had a script gathering dust for an alternative Predator 2 titled Predators (a rather blatant nod to Aliens). The execs found it, removed said dust and went to work getting Rodriguez to revisit his original idea.

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This maddening mess sees three violent and disturbed teenagers break into the home of an unhappily married and extraordinarily unlikeable couple. The pair are beaten and tied up within seconds, and the assailants then proceed to sit on the couch waiting for the couple’s son to come home so they can kill him for being a grass.

This lasts for almost 80 minutes, and it is excruciating; a mind-bendingly dull and lazy waste of time; time that could be spent doing something infinitely better, such as attempting to clean your teeth with a pneumatic drill whilst swallowing a rusty cheese-grater.

The painfully clichéd unhappy couple argue over dinner in a monotonous and badly scripted fashion about an affair that she may have had a while ago (it’s hard to keep track of the conversation due to its poor delivery). They answer the door and are attacked. They are subjected to occasional abuse of a severe nature, whilst the clock ticks down (somewhat erratically) to their son’s arrival, which is due to be met with a fatal response. That is literally it.

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This terrific low-budget thriller from little-known director Carlos Brooks is a real treat, especially considering it forms part of that dreaded straight-to-DVD selection.

Briana Evigan (Step Up 2, Sorority Row) plays Kelly Taylor, a bright and caring young woman preparing to enrol at college whilst leaving her autistic younger brother Tom (played by Charlie Tahan) in the care of a school for special needs.

They live with their unpleasant deadbeat stepdad Johnny (Garret Dillahunt; Last House on the Left, No Country for Old Men) as a result of their mother’s prior suicide.

Kelly’s payment to the special needs school falls through because Johnny empties the account. He has grand plans to turn the land surrounding their home into a mini-safari park; this includes the purchase of a tiger that comes with Meat Loaf’s official seal of evil. The non-payment means that Kelly must choose whether to leave young Tom in the incapable hands of their stepdad, or abandon her plans for college so that she can remain as his carer.

Things take a bizarre twist when a hurricane charges through the local area. After the house has been boarded up in preparation for the storm, an unseen figure lets the tiger (which has been starved for 2 weeks) loose in the house, before boarding up the doors entombing Kelly and Tom with the tiger.

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Utterly compelling, brilliantly scripted, a masterclass of acting and direction – the original Jaws is quite simply one of the greatest films ever made…

Following up Quint’s devastating Indianapolis speech, as well as Chief Brody’s awesome toe-to-toe with the shark in the finale, was never going to be easy. Director Jeannot Szwarc had a fairly acceptable attempt with Jaws 2, which saw Roy Scheider’s Brody electrocute a bigger, badder and very annoyed underwater beastie, whilst single-handedly carrying the film on his shoulders.

The almost vertical decline in quality would follow.

Jaws 3-D was an upsetting mess with Dennis Quaid portraying Brody’s eldest son Michael, who is now working at SeaWorld. The aquatic park manages to attract a psychotic 40-foot (?) shark that can roar and swim backwards. Suffice to say, this was not a positive step, and certainly not Quaid’s finest moment. The shark death: protagonists use a very long rod to pull the pin out of a grenade that is still in the hands of a diver eaten earlier in the film (what?).

If you haven’t seen it, we assure you it makes even less sense than you think.

Surely the best thing to do at this stage is kill the franchise before anyone turns mental and goes on a mad, murderous rampage in disgusted protest. Alas, this was not to be, and a fourth instalment was given the green-light.

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Spelunking is defined as the hobby or practice of exploring caves; any additional scraps with ungodly creatures from the pits of hell are not usually included with said pastime.

That is, of course, unless you happen to fancy a trip down the holes under the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina.

The original Descent saw director Neil Marshall produce a tense British horror that generated widespread acclaim. Whilst this film was indeed scary, well shot and a lot of fun, it has to be said that Neil Marshall’s ability to write dialogue for women is somewhat akin to a dog’s ability to play hopscotch.

Considering that the whole cast was female, this was a bit of a problem; however, The Descent was not a dialogue-driven piece, and thus it escaped unscathed and turned out to be a very enjoyable movie.

We were excited about the prospect of a follow-up (although what we really wanted was a sequel to Marshall’s awesome directorial debut Dog Soldiers). The end of The Descent saw Shauna MacDonald’s sole surviving character, Sarah, believe that she had escaped the hellish cave, only to wake up realising she was still stuck down there. The deliberately ambiguous ending was brave, and worked well.

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