Horror

With some highly anticipated, potential mega-hits coming out this summer, including Alien semi-prequel Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises, along with the recently released Avengers Assemble, we thought we would find the Top 10 Favourite Films of All Time, as voted by our readers.

We expected some people would dodge the obvious and somewhat clichéd classics, like Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia and, of course, Piranha 3D. We didn’t expect such a great mix of movies, with horror, comedy, action and romance all getting a look-in.

Yes, the big winner is perhaps expected, but there are some surprises in there, and we think it shows the continued diversity of both modern cinema and the UK’s own film fanatics.

So without further rambling, here is the list, counting down from 10.

10. Blade Runner

Ridley Scott’s revolutionary sci-fi smash-hit, based on Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, saw Harrison Ford’s Deckard chase down replicants in a dystopian future. Rutger Hauer gave Han Solo a sound hiding, and Sean Young was great as reluctant replicant Rachael.

9. Alien

Ridley again, and with his success rate for sci-fi it seems guaranteed that upcoming Alien prequel-of-sorts Prometheus should be a classic. This 1979 game-changer is often credited with revolutionising the heroine character, as well as introducing the surprise-shock ending which has become a stalwart in horror. And who could forget that famous chest-burster scene? Grim.

8. The Goonies

The Goonies, helmed by Superman and Lethal Weapon director Richard Donner, featured a young Samwise Gamgee (also known as Sean Astin) and friends trying to find the lost fortune of One-Eyed Willie. You wouldn’t need three guesses to work out that Spielberg is heavily involved behind the scenes in this charming family adventure.

7. The Notebook

This surprise entry doesn’t so much tug at the heartstrings, as yank at them incessantly whilst showing you pictures of kittens. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams do the unrequited, forbidden love thing, then mum gets angry, then the two separate for years only to stumble upon each other, both faced with a great decision to make. But who is telling the story?

6. Crash (2004)

Not to be mistaken with Cronenberg’s mid-nineties gag reflex test of the same name, Crash is an inventive, compelling and beautifully crafted examination of racial prejudices, told through several intertwining stories set in Los Angeles. It really is a modern classic; funny, gripping, engaging, unpredictable and original, Paul Haggis’ movies is simply a must-see, with stellar performances from the likes of Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges, Matt Dillon, Ryan Phillippe and Thandie Newton.

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Back in 2007, HBO made the potentially risky decision to fund a TV adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s insanely epic set of novels A Song of Ice and Fire. Named after the first book, Game of Thrones is a fantasy-action-drama packed full of twist, turns, chills, thrills and an array of fascinating characters.

The tricky aspect is that, in order to do it justice, you would need to launch millions of dollars into each episode, get an absolutely stellar cast from kids to kings, film in genuine settings, structure the story faithfully and brace the audience for something which doesn’t exactly pander to the usual TV conventions. Luckily HBO has embraced the challenge, and now this studio has the best thing on TV either side of the Atlantic.

Prepare for dragons, incest, violence, gore, prostitutes, swords, sorcery, zombies, wolves and a dizzying amount of sneaky deception within the dynastic struggle which serves as the show’s foundation. There is also a eunuch and a dwarf, who are both utterly compelling, genius characters.

King Robert Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne, ruling the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. He is married to Cersei Lannister, uniting his royal family with riches. Their marriage is loveless, and as he drinks and eats his way to an early grave, she conducts a grim affair with her brother Jaime. Her other brother, Tyrion, is a dwarf, but neutralises any potential ridicule through his sparkling wit and intelligence.

King Robert’s closest friend is Ned Stark, and when the King’s Hand dies suspiciously, the King calls on his friend to serve in the role. This pretty much means Ned will run business whilst Robert gets drunk, sleeps with prostitutes and eats as much food as possible.

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The Thing is a prequel set before The Thing, which was originally a remake of The Thing From Another World, based on a novella which wasn’t called The Thing.

The original novella Who Goes There? told the story of a vicious shape-shifting alien, which had previously crash landed in Antarctica and frozen in the ice. Discovered by researchers, and subsequently thawed, the creature goes around generally causing chaos, violently murdering the protagonists, ingesting their corpses and imitating them individually, thereby creating a sort of whodunit horror.

In 1951, it was given a typically American movie reinvention, replacing Antarctic researchers with the U.S. Air Force. The Thing From Another World was a hit, but the adaptation was rather loose, and in 1982 John Carpenter stepped in and gave us a an intense horror masterpiece which was far more loyal to its source.

The Thing 1982 took the whodunit horror concept and joyfully played with it for an hour and a half. Kurt Russell was brilliant in the lead role of MacReady, and the creature effects were as elaborate as they were shocking. It was horrific, but heart-pounding fun and a riveting watch, as each character tried to work out who had been infected with The Thing, before meeting a brutal demise. Upon being rumbled, those infected would freak out and split into some kind of deformed mess of filth. Grim.

Now there is a prequel; first and foremost, just calling it The Thing, like its predecessor, was a stupid idea. Moving on, there are two ways of looking at The Thing 2011; either it is a loving and loyal tribute to, and story expansion of, John Carpenter’s 1982 effort of the same name, or it is a horrible cash-in. Although if you want to cash in on a movie, best not to wait 30 years. This has been evidenced by the meagre box office takings.

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The start of case 39 sees you introduced to Emily Jenkins, a child support worker being given her 39th case.  At first, It seems as normal as any other she deals with on a day to day basis but it soon becomes apparent that this one will change her life in more ways than one.

She visits the family to see the little girl,  Lilith, who has been falling asleep in class and has had grades drop for A’s to D’s in 3 months.  There is enough evidence to suggest that Lilith is being neglected, but as there are no visible marks, Emily’s boss tells her to leave the case alone.

Against her boss’s wishes, Emily decides to visit Lilith as she is leaving school and tells her to call any time she feels scared.  Later that night Emily receives a chilling call from Lilith saying that she fears her parents are going to kill her.  Emily along with Policeman and friend Mike (Ian Mcshane - the one and only Lovejoy) rush over to the house and rescue Lilith just as she is about to be killed in a horrible manner by her parents.

Lilith is about to be put in care when she begs Emily to look after her.  At first Emily is reluctant but soon agrees and is given temporary custody of Lilith, but could that decision be the worst error of judgement that Emily could have made? (more…)

I am quite a big fan of gore and body horror so when I saw that hit U.S. series Dexter was available to rent on DVD from LoveFilm I knew I had to watch it!

Dexter is a serial killer with ethics; not your typical leading man! Working as a blood spatter analyst for Miami Metro he encounters the dregs of society and their actions on a daily basis.

Orphaned because his mother was murdered, then adopted by a cop hell-bent on justice, Dexter’s formative years were the catalyst for his now dominant penchant for the macabre.

Dexter seeks to make his little corner of the world a better place by eradicating heinous criminals who have slipped through the net.

Dispensing his own special brand of justice, Dexter plots, plans and meticulously executes his murderous endeavours, whilst ensuring that each victim realises why they are about to meet their maker.

On paper this sounds like quite an intense show, but it’s shot so well, with many varied story arcs and alternative points of interest, that it’s so much more than just another gore fest! (more…)

Is there a bigger date in the horror movie fan’s calendar than the annual release of a Saw film?

Yes. Laundry day, or any other day.

Yet the cogs keep turning and the people keep watching, despite cries of despair and claims of wasted lifetime hours following each increasingly pointless instalment.

If we approach the situation in a frank, honest manner, the first Saw, whilst borrowing heavily from the concept of the mighty movie masterpiece Se7en, was in fact quite watchable and boasted an awesome twist right at the death (oops, sorry about that). Saw was a good horror movie, and of course a sequel was inevitable.

It is fair to say that Saw II was also pretty good. It lacked cohesion, but was gruesome enough to satisfy fans of the genre and still offered a few decent surprises, not to mention a meatier role for series lead Tobin Bell, as the dying Jigsaw killer John Kramer.

And then disaster.

Saw III, Saw IV and Saw V were increasingly mediocre, whilst Saw VI was actually a little better, but had a rubbish ending and dragged the story into even further reaches of plot direction stupidity. For Jigsaw to maintain a presence and influence on the storyline after his rather fatal throat-slashing in Saw III is actually a little insulting.

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Move over Jaws, there’s a new fish in town as director Alexandre Aja serves up this rather bitey remake of the silly seventies original.  In all fairness, remake is an understatement as this film’s storyline and characters bear very little resemblance to the ‘78 Piranha, or its sequel Piranha II: The Spawning (which happened to be the dubious directorial debut of one James Cameron).

The 21st Century version of Piranha, released as Piranha 3D in cinemas, is set during the all-American alchohol-fuelled bikini-bonanza known as Spring Break.  Young Jake, son of strict Sheriff Julie Forester, is unfortunately doomed to babysit instead of enjoying the madness, but porno director Derrick needs a guide on his boat so he knows all the best places to film his gorgeous actresses Danni and Crystal.  With this offer on the table,  Jake decides to leave the kids to their own devices whilst he goes and, er, enjoys himself.  He also manages to get a girl he likes to come along for the ride, but things take a nasty turn when little things with big teeth show up to spoil the party…

Some prehistoric, savage, bloodthirsty and generally quite irritable piranhas have been freed from their cave-like prison underwater, thanks to some kind of mini-earthquake or something.  This results in a very grisly death for Richard Dreyfuss (sending up his own Matt Hooper from Jaws, complete with ‘Show Me The Way To Go Home’ karaoke session), and this starts off an insane massacre that rarely lets up at any stage.  Much death occurs, along with gratuitous nudity and Ving Rhames using a chainsaw to make a sizeable ton of sushi.  It is bonkers.

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In 1997, director Vincenzo Natali wrote and directed a sci-fi horror movie called Cube which revolved around a group of strangers stuck in a construct of sadistically booby-trapped rooms, with no clue how to survive other than some seemingly random numbers engraved on each door. The fates of the characters were generally quite grisly, but the film itself posed some interesting questions about morals and the will to survive.

Natali planned to follow up that effort with a film exploring the concept and potential ramifications of genetic modification. His idea required a budget that simply was not available, but 13 years later he has finally been able to deliver Splice, a creepy, unnerving and ultimately thought-provoking slice of sci-fi horror pie.

Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley play Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast, two genetic engineers who have been conducting research and experiments investigating the outcome of DNA splicing. They plan to start introducing human DNA into the mix, but the pharmaceutical company with all the cash is not too keen.

The persistent duo decide to oppose their financiers and proceed with their plans in secret, convinced that successful splicing of human DNA with that of other animals could provide cures to several devastating diseases.

Their secretive work spawns a creature that they name Dren (the reversed letters of the pharmaceutical company’s acronym N.E.R.D). The creature displays impressive cognitive development and rapidly grows into something akin to an inquisitive feminine teenager, albeit one with a tail and stinger.

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Back in 1987, Arnie and his platoon of tough hombres took on a freakishly ugly and manically violent alien creature with a penchant for hunting humans as sport. Needless to say, it did not go well for the humans, but Arnie came out on top using a clever combination of mud and one-liners. It also helped that he was built like a brick outhouse and was able to distract the beast with his confusing accent and peculiar dialogue delivery.

Predator is a classic, and one of many highlights on Arnie’s very respectable 80s action résumé. So it was a moderate shame when the somewhat lacklustre Predator 2 appeared and changed the setting to the concrete jungle of Los Angeles. It could have worked, and Danny Glover is pretty good, but it lacked the original’s sense of fun, and sported a far less entertaining cast, not to mention the fact that Predator was directed by Die Hard‘s John McTiernan, whereas Predator 2 was helmed by the director of Nightmare on Elm Street 5 and Lost in Space, Stephen Hopkins. Oops.

The intriguing and excessively violent character of the Predator lay dormant until Paul W.S. Anderson (Event Horizon, Resident Evil) made the move to combine Alien and Predator on the big screen; such a move had been equally revered and requested by the fans. Alien vs. Predator was acceptable yarn, despite slightly compromising the integrity of the canon of both sets of movies. However, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem was utter dross, shot in total darkness using a script that offered the dialogue equivalent of horse faeces.

This could have killed both Alien and Predator, but Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Sin City) had a script gathering dust for an alternative Predator 2 titled Predators (a rather blatant nod to Aliens). The execs found it, removed said dust and went to work getting Rodriguez to revisit his original idea.

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This maddening mess sees three violent and disturbed teenagers break into the home of an unhappily married and extraordinarily unlikeable couple. The pair are beaten and tied up within seconds, and the assailants then proceed to sit on the couch waiting for the couple’s son to come home so they can kill him for being a grass.

This lasts for almost 80 minutes, and it is excruciating; a mind-bendingly dull and lazy waste of time; time that could be spent doing something infinitely better, such as attempting to clean your teeth with a pneumatic drill whilst swallowing a rusty cheese-grater.

The painfully clichéd unhappy couple argue over dinner in a monotonous and badly scripted fashion about an affair that she may have had a while ago (it’s hard to keep track of the conversation due to its poor delivery). They answer the door and are attacked. They are subjected to occasional abuse of a severe nature, whilst the clock ticks down (somewhat erratically) to their son’s arrival, which is due to be met with a fatal response. That is literally it.

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